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May 14, 2020 by Mike Bergin

Your Goals: Give Up or Go Up?

Goals are dreams with deadlines Face facts… you simply can’t do everything. You can do many many amazing things, especially of you’ve mastered the secrets of time management. But you can’t do everything. So if you want to fulfill your most meaningful goals, prioritize relentlessly.

Once we take a hard look at our priorities, we can sort our goals so we devote enough time and commitment to achieving them. We can and should also enlist help, since success is usually a group effort. But does every type of goal benefit from social support?

Consider two types of goals:

Give-Up Goals define success through subtraction: e.g. less goofing off, weight loss, bad habit cessation

Go-Up Goals define success through addition: e.g. better grades, muscle gain, good habit development

Conventional wisdom suggests that we should always share our give-up goals, as others are usually very helpful in encouraging us to drop bad habits. But more aspirational goals have the potential to bring out the worst in those around us, inspiring envy rather than encouragement. Should we keep these go-up goals to ourselves? Seth Godin says no:

…the traditional wisdom is that you should tell very few people about your go up goals. Don’t tell them you intend to get a promotion, win the race or be elected prom king. That’s because even your friends get jealous, or insecure on your behalf, or afraid of the change your change will bring.

Here’s the thing: If that’s the case, you need better friends. A common trait among successful people is that they have friends who expect them to move on up.

So share all your goals, give-up and go-up alike. If the people around you aren’t supportive, change your friends, not your goals!

goals prioritization

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Mike Bergin
Tens of thousands of students a year prep for the SAT & ACT through programs Mike Bergin created or organized. After more than 25 years of intensive experience in the education industry, he's done it all as a teacher, tutor, director, curriculum developer, blogger, podcaster, and best-selling author. Mike founded Chariot Learning in 2009 to deliver on the promise of what truly transformative individualized education can and should be.

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